A Moment in the Sun.

Like the spiders that hang from the ceiling of my guest house, I swing back and forth in the air, trying to relax as I hang from the rope that is keeping me from falling 60 feet to the rocks below. I manuever myself to avoid banging into the tree that grows from the side of the mountain. It is my first attempt at rock climbing and I am going to get to the top if it kills me. This is what I am thinking at that very moment. Because after attempt number four to swing my leg to the next notch available, I am starting to get frustrated. My new friends below have already shimmied up a couple of different rock faces and here I am, swinging in the air, having fallen. Again. The sun is hot and the rocks feel like they are melting my fingertips. Only ten more feet and I'll hit the ring that signifies my success. Sweaty sunscreen trickles down my face, stinging my eyes. I am going to do this if it fucking kills me. The thoughts of anger and frustration run through my mind. Tapes that had started to feel unfamiliar come back more easily than I would like them to, creating cobwebs in my brain. I am tangled, trying to fight through to the positivity that seems to be winning over these days. With another curse under my breath, I gather up every ounce of strength and grip on to the small slippery ledge I have available to me. I heave my leg up and it catches. Oh my God! I did it! I am up to the top in a few short motions. I bounce off the side of the mountain as I work my way down. I think to myself, with a bit of self- satisfaction, It's about time I left the web weaving to the experts...

The North

Since my last entry, I've explored Chiang Mai where I went to a cooking class, learned how to make curry paste, pad thai, tum yum goong, and most importantly mango with sticky rice (get excited friends!)


I went to a jazz club with a friend of a friend the next night, listened to some incredible music and was surrounded by people who filled the room with the most contagious positive energy. I smiled so much my face hurt by the end of the night.
I then moved on to Pai for a couple of days-- definitely NOT enough time in case you were wondering-- and met a couple of people with whom I shared some great conversation(a rarity in travel companions.) We spent our days riding through Northern Thailand on motorbikes, watching the countryside pass by as we rode our way up to the Coffin Caves in Supong. Up until that point, I had never seen scenery so beautiful... Hugging the curves of mountain after mountain, we prayed for large rickety trucks filled with people to avoid hitting us as they flew past. I went solo to the waterfalls, trying to beat the setting of the sun. I watched it sink behind the huge fluffy clouds that looked almost cartoonish while people on the side of the road called out offering opium. You know, just in case I was interested... (for the record, I was not.) When I finally reached the waterfalls though, the fear of being stuck on a motorbike I wasn't super familiar with riding, particularly on a dirt road in the dark, dissapated. I jumped in the waterfall and swam around, the water cold, but envigorating.





I was sad to leave Pai, but Chiang Mai beckoned with the prospects of meeting my friend and finally staying in a hotel that didn't have blood stains and gecko poo on the bed. Who knew that my standards had dropped so significantly?? Toilet paper AND soap?? SIGN ME UP! We spent our time wandering around the city, exploring temples,

pushing our way through crowds and trying out random but delicious street foods. Taking chances with some interesting chip flavors (teriakyi chicken and sweet basil anyone?) and Archa, the PBR of Thai beers, we escaped the frequent downpours and watched some questionable (at best) Thai TV.

Saying our goodbyes at the end of the weekend as I moved on to Ko Phi Phi and he to Laos felt bittersweet as it often does with many of the people I have met along the way, but I suppose that is a post for another time. This has already gotten pretty long and my Internet time is running up. Until next time...

A Little Lonely...

The one thing I had really been nervous about prior to leaving for this trip was being by myself. Because being by myself would ultimately fuel a sense of loneliness, a feeling that I have never particularly been comfortable with. Thankfully though, since being in Thailand, there have been very few moments where loneliness has hit, but it is happening right now, as I am riding on the overnight bus to Chiang Mai, writing only by the light of my cell phone. After a couple of pretty spectacular days in Bangkok with friends, new and old (although I suppose in this case, "old" is somewhat relative) the feeling of being by myself is overwhelming and a little sad. I have a hard time not imagining them having experiences that I will not be a part of. I know that as I continue on my travels, I will also continue to meet new people and new friends. To me, these connections are what makes traveling such a transformative experience. In a way, it makes the world feel like a smaller place, and causes you to wonder how and why certain people come into your life. Take my friend Jon for example. During this trip, I've thought to myself on a number of occasions, that had I never met him in the first place, I may never have come on this trip. So did he come into my life for that reason? To help me feel compelled enough to leave my job and go to Thailand? Perhaps. Even if not, I am grateful for his presence, for helping me to not feel so alone on this trip and introducing me to his friends, who I think have done a great job of including me despite their prior close connections. And so we come full circle, back to this sense of loneliness that has subsided a bit in writing this post. Because I know that even as I sit here on the bus, in the dark, that not only are there are people out there who know me and love me, but also so many people I have yet to meet...

New Friends!



And Some Old...

The Most Perfect Day

Alex, Jon and I rented motorbikes this morning so that we could get to Erawan Falls, a national park about an hour outside of Kanchanaburi. Riding on the back of Jon's bike, we passed jagged hills covered in green as we followed the River Kwai. We arrived at Erawan Falls and hiked up a series of 7 different falls, all of which you could swim in. The "fierce monkeys" swung above our heads and the tiny fish nipped our feet in the clear water below, but as we swam through the cave, all I could think of was how I could possibly put this amazing experience into words. We continued our hike to the top and all we could hear were thousands of beetles sounding like a collective group of deafening chainsaws and the ominous sound of thunder in the distance. Throughout it all though beauty surrounded us-- huge twisting vines coiled up on the ground and swinging from the massive trees, hidden waterfalls around every corner and butterflies in bright yellows and oranges fluttering silently throughout the jungle.

Heading back down our stomachs growled, but the threat of rain hung in the air so we quickened our pace and made out way back to the motorbikes.

On our ride back to Kanchanaburi, the rain hit. We had been planning on checking out the Bridge at the River Kwai at sunset but given the weather, it looked that that was not going to happen. Like millions of tiny pin pricks pelting every inch of exposed skin, I clutched on to Jon's waist in the hopes that we would not skid out and get a "Thai tattoo." Somehow though, despite the misery of being wet and freezing, flying through the Thai countryside in the rain was amazing. Sure, I could barely see through my sunglasses that were covered in water and most likely a dead bug or two, but the air smelled like a mix of grilled meat, fruit trees and firewood, and I felt alive... It wasn't until Alex rode up next to us though and shouted "Fuck the Bridge!" that I realized how tense I had been since the rain had started. She was stating the obvious and sitting at the stoplight, we laughed, almost deliriously, at the insanity of the last 45 minutes. We eventually made it back and rewarded ourselves with the spiciest bowl of noodle soup and a few more laughs at our own expense.

Quitting my job and going to Thailand= The BEST decision I've ever made.

So Far...

I write this as I am laying in a hammock listening to the birds sing overhead. After a bumpy three hour trek to Kanchanaburi, laying here and feeling the warm air tangling my hair feels worth it. So much of this trip has been spent on cramped minibuses, only to be rewarded by amazing food and relaxation. It's such a welcome change to how I was feeling a little more than a week ago. Part of me doesn't even know what to do with myself though. I recognize the importance of being in the moment and appreciating this time I have, but the other part of me can't help but feel the familiar feeling of panic. Panic that I won't get to the beaches in the South or be able to experience Chiang Mai the way that I want to. I continue to tell myself that I know that's not true, but I can't help but wonder why I continuously live in this state of being. I mean, would it kill me to just lay here and take in the fact that I am Thailand?? I mean I'm in Thailand for God's sake. I am not working, I'm eating some of the most incredible food I've ever had (super spicy noodles at 2am?! Yes!), I'm drinking coconut water out of their shells on the beach while the waves are lapping at my feet and all I can think of is how I may not get to everything that I want to see. I haven't even gotten to see Bangkok yet. But you know what, I am going to try my best not to worry about it. Overall, I hope that what I can learn from this trip is how to relax and enjoy living in the moment. We'll see how I do but I'm off to go try. Dinner at the Night Market? Yum.

Just a Note

For those of you who are following my travels-- thanks!! I just wanted to let you know that pics will hopefully be coming soon, although I'm not entirely sure how I am going to upload them quite yet, as I didn't bring a computer... I'll figure that out in time though. Keep checking back for updates!

A 13 Hour Flight Isn't So Bad...

unless you happen to be seated next to a Christian Baptist minister who wants to convert you...then a 13 hour trip is actually quite long. Especially if he gives you a pamphlet telling you that you should believe in Jesus Christ. After all, don't you want to go to heaven?! Good thing he laid off after about 10 minutes, cause it would have sucked if I happened to drink a lot of water and had to pee every hour on the hour...but I suppose that wouldn't have been very Christian of me...

Anyway, the following are thoughts from the plane:
The flight map, which is conveniently all in Japanese, shows me that we have almost reached Alaska, which means that we are about halfway through the flight. It is 4am in Bangkok, so I feel like I should probably be sleeping, but given the accommodations and the fact that I am pretty much curled up in the fetal position, I've been doing okay with actually being able to sleep. I'm glad I didn't opt for the aisle though, sleeping against a window is so much comfier...
Anyway, over the last six hours I've done the following:
--watched the movie "No Strings Attached" with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman, which was surprisingly funny and pretty good.
--eaten a bagel (note to self, do not take malaria meds on an empty stomach--Feeling like you are going to vomit pre 13 hour flight,NOT cool) a granola bar, and soggy french toast that was not easily salvaged by a vat of maple syrup.
--contorted my body into odd shapes in an attempt to get in a "comfortable" position.
--watched an episode of 30 Rock that I've already seen.
--listened to "pop" music courtesy of American Airlines that made my ears bleed just a little... perhaps that's why I was doing the NY Times crossword and after staring at it for 10 minutes, I could only get one!! (where are you when I need you Sam?!) Seriously though, it was so hard...
Well, I am off to play a rousing game of Tetris. Hope this gets me through the next seven hours...

Okay, I'm back. Tetris did not get me through seven hours-- Christian dude is playing Tetris next to me, and man does he suck. I almost feel bad for him, he's on level zero and he's gotten a high score of 664. I mean it's sad, really. Anyway, moving on to more important things--we got a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch, not too shabby--not picking the Japanese meal though? Bad idea. They got a choice of udon noodles or teriakyi chicken with rice. Also, I imagine I will see a lot of interesting things on my trip, but there is a dude sitting on the laps of the two guys in front of me. I am not mentioning this because it is guys on guys, more so because I can't imagine anyone sitting on top of me when there is about a foot and a half of space between me and the seat in front of me. I am getting uncomfortable just looking at them...

So the second half of my trip to Bangkok was far better--I slept for a good chunk of it, and I met a new friend! I think we are even going to meet up in Chiang Mai-- he is a documentary film maker and is doing volunteer work there for a few months. So cool...

Well, I'm off! I'll update more once I eat some delicious food :)