18 days

Today marks 18 days until I leave for Thailand and truthfully I am starting to freak out a bit. Not because I feel like I made a bad decision, but mostly because of all the things I have to do before I leave. My ability to empathize with friends who have been in similar scenarios is growing greater by the day. But I won't bore you with all the details of having to do paperwork and tie up loose ends. Instead, I will torture you (and myself for having to wait another month until I am able to indulge in this) with this video of Anthony Bourdain eating Banh Mi in Vietnam. Doesn't this look amazing??



And with the fried egg on top? I mean who doesn't love a good fried egg???

Soon Banh Mi, I will have you...

A Fresh Start?

Lately, I've been debating whether or not I want to keep this blog going during my trip to Southeast Asia or start a new one. On the one hand, anyone who wants to read my blog can read it...obviously, since it's hanging out there on the Internet and what not. On the other hand, do I want to be advertising it? Clearly my concern is mostly around the stuff I wrote last year. I mean sure I have been about as open as I can be about Tony and our breakup but do I want everyone who is reading my blog for the traveling piece of things to know about those feelings? I'm not quite sure. I'm guessing though that with everything else that is going on in my life at this very moment between wrapping things up at work and prepping for my trip, that when it comes right down to it, I will end up keeping this blog going out of sheer laziness. I will say though that at the very least this blog is evidence of how far I've come in the last couple of years (can you believe it's been that long?? It sure doesn't feel like it!!) And while there is something to be said for a fresh start, I know I've definitely come a long way in that time and maybe it's nice to have evidence of that transition....Pretty sure that this time last year I would not even have begun to consider actually going on a trip like this-- it's one of those things you talk about but never actually do, you know? But why not? What's stopping you? For me, it was an insecurity that I could do it, financially, job wise, logistics wise. But things have shifted, I've worked my ass off and as far as I'm concerned now, I totally deserve it. So exactly one month from today, off to Thailand I go!

My Own Personal Cheering Squad

I'll be honest, when I made the decision to quit my job and go to Southeast Asia for 6 weeks, I anticipated a primarily negative response--something along the lines of how irresponsible that was going to be, how bad the economy is to leave my job at a time like this, and how dangerous it's going to be to go by myself, etc., etc. Perhaps it was my own insecurities playing out or perhaps I just didn't have a lot of faith in my friends and family (sorry guys!) but in my unavoidably negative state of mind, I assumed that most people would think that my decision was just plain ridiculous. However, in the last month, since officially putting in my resignation and announcing my plans to the world, I have gotten nothing but an outpouring of support and excitement on my behalf. The offers of advice around traveling to Thailand and Cambodia and Vietnam have been abundant and people I barely know have been beyond generous with their time and information. I can only hope that the response I have been getting will be representative of my experience to come.

Truthfully though, I feel as if I have never known people to be so kind as they have been in recent weeks. It's as if I have a whole new view of people in general. In reality I know that's not true, as I have had many people be kind to me over the years, but I think I may be in a different place these days--in a place where I feel that I can accept peoples' kindness, and maybe even deserve it. I can't pinpoint what has changed, all I can say is that I know something has. It's as if I have suddenly passed over into a new place in life. I've even gotten feedback that I seem "different..." and not in a bad way! So I'm gonna go with it and I'm gonna bring this new and "different" me to Southeast Asia with me. Anyway, for those of you who have been showing your never-ending support, thank you and stick around for new adventures to come in just a few short weeks! Eek!! (Yay!)