So Far...

I write this as I am laying in a hammock listening to the birds sing overhead. After a bumpy three hour trek to Kanchanaburi, laying here and feeling the warm air tangling my hair feels worth it. So much of this trip has been spent on cramped minibuses, only to be rewarded by amazing food and relaxation. It's such a welcome change to how I was feeling a little more than a week ago. Part of me doesn't even know what to do with myself though. I recognize the importance of being in the moment and appreciating this time I have, but the other part of me can't help but feel the familiar feeling of panic. Panic that I won't get to the beaches in the South or be able to experience Chiang Mai the way that I want to. I continue to tell myself that I know that's not true, but I can't help but wonder why I continuously live in this state of being. I mean, would it kill me to just lay here and take in the fact that I am Thailand?? I mean I'm in Thailand for God's sake. I am not working, I'm eating some of the most incredible food I've ever had (super spicy noodles at 2am?! Yes!), I'm drinking coconut water out of their shells on the beach while the waves are lapping at my feet and all I can think of is how I may not get to everything that I want to see. I haven't even gotten to see Bangkok yet. But you know what, I am going to try my best not to worry about it. Overall, I hope that what I can learn from this trip is how to relax and enjoy living in the moment. We'll see how I do but I'm off to go try. Dinner at the Night Market? Yum.