How Does Your Man Measure Up?

I was digging through some boxes of old stuff the other day when I came across a few journals that documented the traumatic years of my adolescence. As I flipped through page after page reading about whoever I loved or hated at the given time (most of whom ended up being the same few people... I love Aaron, I hate Aaron etc. etc.) I realized that many of the entries sound disturbingly similar to some of the conversations I've been having with my friends as of late. Apparently I have not evolved in the last 15 years and it turns out that I am a little boy crazy. Shocking, I know. Admittedly, it is not one of my best qualities, but i digress....

All this rifling and reminiscing (not even I could stand to read me yammering on about one guy or another) did lead to one glorious little discovery though: an entry that was written with my friend Katie, and dated April 21, 1997 when I was at the ripe old age of 16. No doubt thinking that we were so wise in the ways of boy, we created a list detailing all of the qualities the perfect guy would have. It was 125 items long. Yes, you read that right, one hundred and twenty five...and they say that women don't have high expectations...ha.

I really wanted to write them all but here is a sample of our ridiculousness, as well as some of my favorites which are highlighted:
HOT-- of course this was number one on the list, we were 16 after all...
could get into any school I want to go to or dream of going to
one earring
dimples
tan
ROMANTIC
Understanding (can listen to our obsessing)
sympathetic ("what did you say honey? I understand... you are mad they didn't have a small in black...)
generous (will offer to pay and push you out of the way so he can pay)
has never failed a grade
has a personality (hopefully good)
BODY...BODY...BODY
poetic (likes the late night love nest)
Hates sluts --we inserted a name here
owns at least one hat--what?! so weird...
Wegmans geeks need not apply --this was for Katie's benefit only
knows what you are thinking without saying anything--I think this may have been the most unrealistic thing on this list
ghetto car (sweet ride)
not a drug dealer-- we had very high priorities
at least one year older
has good hands--huh?? I don't even know why that would matter...
IS A WOMAN BECAUSE THEY ARE PERFECT (and can carry this mentality at all times)
is not psycho
tall
likes gum (and will buy it for you)
not hairy
can grow facial hair-- I love the fact that we wanted someone who isn't hairy and can grow facial hair. ha.
has a job
not fat

And my favoritest of them all:
can drive (after nine)

I'm not quite sure what I would have said to the 16 year old version of me had I known how my life was going to turn out--maybe just not to expect that much because you'll only be disappointed? That's awfully cynical I know, but I'm still waiting for someone to change my mind.

My list of "must haves" is currently at two:
1. will be nice to me.
2. won't move away.